7th January 2024
So, what’s been happening over the last week or so? Not too much to be honest! I saw my doctor again last week & passed her a copy of the paperwork which I’ve sent to the DVLA. They may write to her, so I wanted to ensure she covers the relevant points in a positive way so, hopefully, I can get my licence back. It’s been almost 3 months since I’ve had an incident so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Our granddaughters came over last weekend which was fabulous to see them all. The eldest granddaughter loved seeing our dog, Poppy, again. I think they’ve missed each other a lot. I can’t wait to see them again. They always put a smile on my face. I had my private counselling on Wednesday. It was good to catch up with her as I haven’t spoken to her for around 2 weeks. I can be really honest with her which I think is important. I’m speaking to her again on Tuesday. My Care Coordinator visited me on Friday. Again, I haven’t seen her for around 3 weeks. We talked about what I’ve been up to over the Christmas period & how I’ve been doing. I’m not due to see her for another 3 weeks. The Jelly Babes sessions have been ongoing which has been really good. We all really trust each other & feel like we can tell each other anything. We also keep in touch via WhatsApp over the week just as a general catch up or sometimes when we’re struggling with life. The courses at Space2 should be starting soon hopefully. I hope the Mind, Body & Soul group is on again. I may also join the Mindfulness course depending what day it is on. I’m still doing some diamond painting & take my dog for walks twice a day. My husband & I are going to stop drinking during the week which won’t be easy but it will be good for both of us. Our solicitor spoke with us last week regarding the video complaint & he is going to deal with everything from now on. I’m really pleased as I was worried about the affect it was having on my husband. Now, all contact is going to be between our solicitor & the complaints team. I really hope it doesn’t take long to conclude. I emailed the detective a few days ago about the assault but she hasn’t been in touch yet. Again, it seems to be taking forever. If she doesn’t respond in the next few days, I’m going to try calling the station. It always seems to be us having to chase everybody up in order to get answers. It’s so frustrating & doesn’t do my mental health any good.

15th January 2024
Another week gone by. I’ve had a couple of appointments. One was with my counsellor & the other was on the Jelly Babes session. I was really struggling when I spoke with my counsellor on Tuesday. I told her about the bad thoughts I was having & what the voice was telling me to do. I also didn’t contribute much to the Jelly Babes session on Wednesday. I had a really bad day on Thursday. I think it all stemmed from the lack of updates from the police & the NHS. It’s affecting me a lot, even though they don’t seem to care. I rang 101 last Monday to complain about how long the police were taking on the J27 assault. A Sergeant phoned me back on Thursday who then got the investigating detective to phone me. She said there was no update on the case & it could take months or even years to come to a conclusion. That is not what I wanted to hear. I asked her why he hasn’t been identified yet & she said she’s still waiting for information back from the NHS & she’s sent a few chasers. I can’t believe how long it’s taking. I’m sure, if it were them or somebody they knew, they’d make sure it didn’t take this long. I’m hoping we hear something back from our solicitors about the video complaint this week as it’s been almost 2 weeks since we heard anything. I’m joining a new online Mind Support group tomorrow morning. It’s the same one I did last year but will have different people on it & probably different facilitators. I’m hoping to get some good out of it. Then on Wednesday I have another counselling session. I went to see my mum yesterday which was really nice. We went to Costa for the second week in a row! I’m taking her to the White Rose Centre on Thursday. We have a disabled access taxi booked to take us there & back, so she’ll be able to go in her electric wheelchair. I’m hoping a bit of retail therapy will cheer her up. I’m sure there’ll be a coffee stop while we’re there!

23rd January 2024
I’ve started attending the new online Leeds Mind Peer Support Group on a Tuesday morning. We had our second session this morning. It seems like a really nice group of ladies & hopefully we can support each other with whatever issues we are having. Tomorrow is the first new session of the Mind, Body & Soul group. It’s at Chapel FM this year, not the Old Gipton Fire Station, so it’s nearer for me. I hope the ladies who went on it last year go on it again this year as they were really nice & friendly. I’ve decided to come off the Jelly Babes sessions for now as my head isn’t in the right place for it. I received lovely responses when I explained this to the rest of the group. I’ve had another session with my counsellor today which went well, as always. I’m going to create my own mind mapping chart of some of my emotions, probably starting with anger. I think it will be helpful for me to work out why I am angry at certain things / people which don’t always make sense & why my anger gives me thoughts sometimes of hurting people. If I work on it this week I’ll be able to discuss it with my counsellor next week. Last Saturday we went to watch a tribute to the Everly Brothers. I was extremely nervous about going beforehand & when I got there, but my anxiety eased a little after a few drinks! Unfortunately, there was a group of men who were loud & boisterous &, towards the end of the night, they ended up fighting. This made me feel really unsafe & has had a knock on affect since. The musicians also sang two of my best bud’s (who’s passed away) songs which made me shed a few tears. Our dog, Poppy, is poorly again. She was sick 6 times on Sunday, once yesterday & 3 times today. We’ve tried giving her what the vet told us last time but she’s still no better so we’re having to take her to see the vet again this afternoon. Poor little love. It’s awful seeing her poorly. I hope it’s nothing serious.

26th January 2024
Thankfully Poppy has not been sick since we had her at the vets. She was given an anti-sickness injection & 4 days of tablets. We also changed her food & she has been ok since so fingers crossed she has got over whatever it was. I went to the first session of the Mind, Body & Soul group on Wednesday & there was only me there!! So I ended up having a one-to-one session! I did some writing using me as a third person. There are definitely going to be a few there next week so that will be good. I sent my counsellor the emotion mapping I had done about my anger. She responded by saying we can look at this in my next session on Tuesday & there’s a lot to unpick so I’m looking forward to going through this with her. My visit with my care coordinator yesterday didn’t go too well. We talked a little bit about what I had been doing over the last few weeks & about the complaints we have ongoing. I told her I didn’t trust her, that I didn’t want her to take me away & that I thought ‘he’ was sending her to check up on me. She denied all of this & then said she had to leave, which she did so abruptly. She said she’d be in contact about my next appointment but I’m not sure how this will go. My husband & I have been doing a lot of work in relation to the NHS complaint over the last couple of days. This has been really triggering for both of us. I think we’ve both had enough of it all but we don’t want him to get away with it so we’re trying to make sure our solicitor has all the information he needs to ensure the complaint is looked in to fully. The sooner this is over with the better. A friend took me & Poppy to Temple Newsam this afternoon. She loved it – running after her ball over all of the fields. I think I was more knackered than her! She has slept a lot since we got home though, bless her. We don’t have much planned this weekend so hopefully we can recuperate a bit until it all starts again next week.