November 2023

8th November 2023
The last week has been a good one. Last Sunday a friend picked me up & we took our dogs to Roundhay Park. It was lovely having a walk in the fresh air & Poppy certainly enjoyed herself, running all over! I had my 5th session with Cruse Bereavement on Monday. We talked a lot about my dad & also other ‘things’ I have lost, like my driving licence, & the affect it has on my life. I really want somewhere to go to, to connect with my dad but where we scattered his ashes is too far away to go regularly. I do have some of his ashes in a necklace, but I’m thinking of planting something in our garden to remember him by. On Tuesday I joined the women’s online support group which we’ve named Jelly Babes! It’s lovely to speak with people who understand mental health & we support each other, not only during the online session, but during the week as well. I’m currently doing some diamond paintings for each member. It has Jelly Babes on it, pictures of Jelly Babies & a photo of each of us. I hope they’ll like them. I was on my own in the house for 10 hours yesterday as my husband was out. I managed to keep busy & didn’t have any issues which was really good. It may not seem much to most people but, for me, it was quite a big thing. I had another good session with my counsellor, where we talked out about various things. I really think it’s helping talking to her. I always look forward to our sessions. Today I went to my second Mind, Body & Soul group. There were a few of us there again & we did some more tie dying. The next 3 weeks are going to be poetry so I am really looking forward to that. I may take a couple of the poems I have written with me. Today I have had my flu & Covid vaccines. My arms are aching already so God knows what they’ll be like tomorrow! My husband (& our dog!) are going to Bridlington on Friday for a long weekend. I think it will do us both good to get away for a few days & get some exercise & fresh air. A friend has very kindly offered to take us & pick us up. I’m really looking forward to it.

13th November 2023
I managed to survive my vaccinations & also my first mammogram! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. We had a great time at Bridlington. We went to the beach every day. Poppy absolutely loved it. She ran like crazy on the beach. We were so lucky with the weather. It did my husband & I a lot of good too. It was lovely to get some fresh air & a bit of exercise. This morning I have my last session with Cruse Bereavement. I think it has done me some good. She has given me a couple of ideas on how to cope with a few things. Tomorrow I have another session with the women’s online group & also my counsellor. I’ve been doing a bit of diamond painting which has been nice for a change. I’m going to try & tick a couple more things off my ‘to-do’ list this week. It will make me feel like I’ve achieved something.

19th November 2023
It’s been quite a good week, even though I’ve felt quite anxious & unsettled with my thoughts. The women’s online session on Tuesday went well & so did my counselling session. I really do wish I could speak with her more often as the hour just flies by. I went to the Mind, Body & Soul session on Wednesday morning. It was different as it was about poetry instead of art. It wasn’t really the sort of poetry I usually do but it was still good & mixing with other people does me good I think. My care coordinator visited on Wednesday afternoon. We discussed the two complaints that are still ongoing & how much these are affecting not only me, but my husband as well. It’s the fact that nobody has been in touch to give us an update, as though nobody cares. She did say, if we haven’t heard anything over the next few days, to let her know & she’ll try chasing people up about them. Thursday night my husband and I went out for an Italian meal with a couple of my good friends. Even though I wasn’t looking forward to it as I felt very anxious & unsafe, it went ok. I definitely wouldn’t have felt safe enough to go without my husband, which sounds a bit pathetic, but that’s how I felt at the time. Our Aunty & Uncle visited yesterday & they brought a home made Victoria sponge cake, which was absolutely delicious. It was nice to see them as I haven’t seen them for months. I’m hoping next week I will be feel a bit more settled & more confident in myself & certain things go to plan.