He Won

I received an email this morning from CID
I should have realised how it was going to be
It was in relation to the sexual assault on me
The guy who ‘observed’ me is going to walk free

The detective advised the investigation is done
They couldn’t identify him so, again, he’s won
This is the third time no action has been taken
They’ve all got away with it if I’m not mistaken
It feels like they don’t believe me, like I’ve imagined it all
It makes me feel so insignificant and small

I’m hoping this doesn’t result in nightmares
I feel dirty and used, as if nobody cares
What is the point in reporting such things?
You have to deal with all that it brings
The feeling of shame, like you deserved it all
You feel guilty whilst ‘they’ stand tall

They encourage you to report such crimes
Then they say “no action” so many times
Why do you bother? Just keep it all in
They know they’ll get away with it, know they’ll win

I’m feeling angry right now, was I to blame?
I now need to live with all the shame
It feels like they are laughing at me
As though they are rubbing their hands with glee

Not for the first time ‘lack of evidence’ has won
They stick up for each other when all said and done
I’m left to deal with all the shame
Whilst they think they are not to blame